Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Jan 30th...again

Today is always a hard day for me.  Six years ago today, my brother, David died in a head on car collision.  It is also Aubrey's (one of my dearest friends)birthday.

My feelings are always conflicting.  I want to be happy and cheerful for Aubrey, but I am reminded for most of the day of a great loss for the world.  I try to remind myself that he isn't anymore dead today than he was yesterday, and that I should feel the same on January 30th that I feel every other day of the year. Except, of course, June 22, which is his birthday.

He loved children so much.  I am sure he is watching over mine right now.

He was an amazing mechanic and he loved driving fast.

He loved to have his hair brushed.  He would always want to have me brush his hair first, but when it came time for him to brush mine, of course it was time to go or he was tired.  :)

Once, when the mountains were on fire, David decided to acquire a fire hose(we still don't know how he got it, and neither does the fire chief), and stand on my parents roof hosing it off.

He was a great man who helped many without their knowledge.  I will miss him and his chuckle for the rest of my days on this earth.  I feel blessed to call him my brother and friend.  And I am thankful that I have been blessed with an eternal family so that I may see him again one day.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The 24/7 Experiment

Sunday night after the kids had been sent to bed, Donny came back down chattering on about something.  I was done with the day, and just said, "Donny".  I looked on as my child's soul had been deflated, and I was to blame.  I told him to come to me and finish telling me his story.  Off he went as happy as could be.

That night I was laying in bed, wondering how many other times that had happened, and I just hadn't seen the look on his sweet little face.  I felt like an awful mother.  I don't want my kids to feel like my "me" time is more important than they are. 

Can I give just 10 more minutes?  That night his story was done in one.  I decided to try a little experiment.  I wanted to go for 24 hours dropping what I was doing to listen to all of my children.  And to explain things, rather than just telling them what to do.

The next morning, which was yesterday, I thought I could do this for one week.  Hence, the 24/7 experiment.  I hope to never again cause a look or a feeling like the one I saw on Sunday night.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013



Healthy children make lots of noise.

They sing, they shout, they belly laugh, they fight, they bang things together, they bounce things, the cry, they scream, they make lots of noise.
They play loud.

God, bless my healthy children. Give me new ears, ears that hear the music of their noise.

Give me new understanding, understanding that doesn't crush their spritis with my intolerance and oversensitivity.

Give me a new Peade, a Peace that is grateful for the sound created by healthy children.

**Author Unknown**

Friday, January 18, 2013


Thirty-six is not such a terrible age.  Right?  WRONG!!!  I wish we could age back and forth from 27 to 31.  You know, when we get to thirty-one, go back to 30, the 29 and so on. 

I realized that all the girls that had babies our senior year will attend their childrens' High School graduation.  I feel so wrong about it. 

I remember when I was still too young to be the mother of the girls that babysat for us.  I am now two years older than my grandma was when she became a grandma.

Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or anything.  And I definitely think 36 sure ain't what it use to be.  But, I also wish I wasn't in my "late" thirties.  Yuck!!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

r-positive: Day 31

r-positive: Day 31: Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.          -Winston Churchill